Are you struggling to change?
Have you ever told yourself, “I’m going to start eating healthy tomorrow!”
Then, tomorrow comes, and you’re like, “Hmm, maybe I’ll start next week.”
If so, congratulations: You’re normal.
This feeling of “I want to change but also don’t want to change” is called ambivalence.
On the one hand, you might really want to change and become a healthier, stronger version of yourself.
On the other hand, that sounds like a lot of work. Your current way of doing things is so comforting and familiar.
Whether you are learning to ride a bike, renovating a house, or getting in better physical shape, changing involves thought and emotion.
The trouble is, while ambivalence is normal and expected, people can also get stuck: As you (sometimes unconsciously) weigh the pros and cons of change, you don’t actually take action.
Like Albert Einstein so famously said, “insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.”
What to do:
If you find yourself at such an impasse, I suggest asking yourself the following questions:
1. What’s GOOD about NOT CHANGING?
2. What’s BAD about CHANGING?
The answers to these questions are revealing.
All behaviours—no matter how “self-sabotaging” they may seem—serve a purpose.
Your answers to these questions will tell you WHY you resist change.
You also discover what purpose a current behaviour serves and what you might lose if you give that behaviour up.
For example, maybe you want to stop snacking at night, but it also helps you calm down or avoid thinking about a stressful relationship.
Maybe restricting calories is starting to cause health problems, but it also gives you a sense of control when life feels too chaotic.
No wonder you feel such a push-and-pull.
The good news: Once you know how your current behaviours serve you, you can develop replacement behaviours that support you in the way you need to be supported—without sacrificing your larger goals.
So spend some time with the two questions above.
They might just lead to a breakthrough.
xoxo Coach Jan
P.S. Whenever you are ready, here are 3 more ways I can help you improve your health.
- Grab a copy of my book – a practical back-to-basics guide on embracing exercise as play – The Play Book: How To Get In The Habit Of Good Health. Play is a straightforward action you can take to improve your life forever!
- Listen to a sample of the Audible release of my book HERE.
- Book a 1:1 discovery call with me if you are ready to change and want to get unstuck with some accountability, guidance, and support rooted in the psychology of lasting behaviour change and positive habit formation; all you have to do is take the first step. You can make lasting change and don’t have to go it alone! Book a call, and let’s see if we are a good fit to work together.
The Play Book
15 EASY Ways To Play When You #stayhome
Packed with practical information, play expert and health coach Janet Omstead shares her tips for moving a little more often during the day.