Breaking up is hard to do

By Janet OmsteadPublished On: February 5th, 2021

Have you ever wanted to make a healthy change with your nutrition, exercise, or stress management habits, but the way you went about it failed?

So you went back to the way things were because it was easier? Yeah, me too.

Why is breaking up so hard to do with behaviors you don’t want?

As a health coach, studying and understanding behavior change is what I love to do.

What the heck does that mean?

My job is to meet my clients where they are currently and help them evolve with small daily actions that lead to real change.

Those new habits become part of their identity.

Successful change happens in stages over time. It’s NOT all or nothing.

Let me know if this sounds familiar.

Say you have a high motivation for change. So, you set a big goal like losing 25 pounds or more and start a new rigid program.

You swear off all the food you’ve “Googled” not to be part of your new “health” like carbs, alcohol, sugar, fat… you commit to getting to bed earlier, buy brand new running shoes, and start jogging 30 min a day. It seems reasonable.

Monday comes, and you ACE it and the next few days too.

Then, life throws you a “curveball.”

The current global pandemic is an excellent example of a change that takes you off your new program. You are stressed, haven’t been able to eat well, move your body, and forget about getting a good night’s sleep.

Now what? There is no way you can stick to the protocol. All of those changes you swore you’d make are gone out the window.

You feel frustrated, anxious, and ashamed that you can’t stick to a diet or exercise plan, and it feels like you are back to square one.

You want to feel better, and somehow you are in front of the freezer, overeating the ice cream, chips, or whatever is in your cupboard.

The all or nothing mindset is a reality, and overcoming is hard. Unfortunately, now your goal you set with all the best intentions seems unobtainable.

But you are not alone.

Millions of people trying to make positive changes make this mistake every day by setting a goal, getting in the all or nothing mindset, and then failing.

And one of the most significant side effects is that it leaves you worse off than when you started.

How? It keeps your body under intense stress and can lead to invisible chronic inflammation.

Chronic inflammation doesn’t necessarily mean weight gain, it can mean muscle pain, poor digestion, low energy, and damage to otherwise healthy parts of your body.

The result? An increased risk of lifestyle-related diseases like higher sugar levels or type II diabetes, heart disease, increased blood pressure, and dementia or Alzheimer’s disease.

Most recently, with COVID, it was discovered that those who got the sickest or had the most challenging time recovering live with chronic inflammation. They often don’t know it.

The only way to make a permanent change is to have a sustainable system or process to get the desired outcome.

You see, goals focus on the outcome. They’re just descriptions of the results you want to achieve, without a roadmap to get there.

A system gives you small daily actions, or habits, that you consistently repeat, which become part who you are.

Are goals a waste of time? No, of course not!

As habit specialist and author of Atomic Habits James Clear said, “systems are for people who care about winning repeatedly. Goals are for people who care about winning once.”*

People who break up with the all or nothing cycle have figured out a system or habits that work for them every day. Not just once in a while.

Aren’t you ready to identify as a healthier, better version of yourself? You deserve it.

Play on!

Coach Jan

P.S. Want to change your habits and have fun?