In 1985, 40 years ago, I graduated from Grade 13. This week, while up in my attic, I came across my high school photo (nice hair, I must say). 

This weekend, I will be celebrating with my friends, and I thought it was a good time to reflect on who I was then and take a moment to write a letter from my future self to her.  

Dear 18-year-old me,

You had no idea what was ahead—and maybe that was a good thing.

You thought life would follow a straight line. Study hard. Get a good job.

Maybe fall in love, travel the world, maybe start a family.

You were filled with dreams, energy, and a sense that the best was just about to begin.

What you didn’t know was that the best keeps beginning…again and again.

You didn’t know that life would throw you curveballs: health scares, accidents, caregiving roles, and unexpected detours that would test your spirit.

Every time you thought you couldn’t get through something difficult, you did.

These unexpected experiences, while challenging, also brought unexpected joys and growth.

You didn’t know that your resiliency would be built through the hard things—not just the highlight reel.

You didn’t know that play—yes, play—would become your life’s work and your soul’s medicine.

You didn’t know that you would evolve from perfection-seeker to joy-seeker. This evolution, this shift in focus, would bring more fulfillment and happiness than you could have imagined.

You didn’t know that the secret to lasting vitality wasn’t found in rules or routines, but in small, consistent, soul-honouring choices.

A run. A dance. A deep breath. A hug. A great cup of coffee. A beautiful glass of wine. And true, deep friendships.

So here are 13 things I wish I could whisper back to you on graduation day—and what I now know for sure:

1. Don’t be afraid of dying. Be fearful of not truly living.
2. There are no guarantees. So stop living like there are.
3. It’s a miracle we’re all here—treat it like the gift it is.
4. The little things are the big things.
5. You can’t take stuff with you. Make memories instead.
6. Life MUST be lived as play.
7. You don’t HAVE TO. You GET TO.
8. Sunrises and sunsets are the only sure thing—everything else is a crapshoot.
9. Change is yours to make.
10. Do what makes YOU happy.
11. You can play big or small—but show up, do your best, and never take it for granted.
12. Life’s what you make it—celebrate it.
13. Health is wealth. Full stop.

If I’ve learned anything over the past 40 years, it’s this: Play is not a detour from real life. It is real life. It’s how we heal, how we connect, and how we live with energy, curiosity, and heart.

Keep showing up for yourself, 18-year-old me. Keep laughing. Keep moving. Keep loving. Keep playing.

With love and so much gratitude,

Your 40-year-wiser self 💛

Play on!

Coach Jan.